First and foremost Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus!
So I've been wondering about this for a while now. In the age of text messaging and facebook, it seems that the games guys and girls play on each other when they first meet and thereafter are growing immensely. I mean this is more or less how it has played out (at least for me):
Guy meets girl. Guy impresses girl. Guy gets girls number. *games ensue* guy decides when the best time to contact the girl (usually a couple days later, because if you do it too soon the girl thinks you're coming on too strong; but then again 2 days later might be too long, because by then the alcohol-induced high that you get from each other has worn off and the whole relationship doesn't really matter anymore)...
At this point, each one is trying to figure out the tone of voice, or text, that each one is using--trying to figure out exactly what each word is implying, dissecting everything that the other is saying. I've been in this situation before, and I'm sure most of you have too. It's really amusing to look back on some of these encounters that proceeded to a dead end: all of a sudden things seem very smooth (even though after the first night that you initially met, you've been texting every now and then for 2 weeks now, without any concrete plans of hanging out [maybe not so smooth]), and then one of the 2 says something that the other dislikes and then bam, the relationship is over.
I mean I guess these situations are good, because you actually learn from them, and learn what to say, how to approach certain situations, etc. But in the end, looking back, it's nothing you really wanted to get yourself into in the first place. What people want is something that feels right, and if after 2 weeks of texting, you didn't hang out, well I guess it isn't right.
All I'm trying to say is that sometimes it isn't all that great to go out every single weekend looking to meet someone. Things happen when you're not looking. And then when you do meet someone, if you have all these questions for your friends about what to do and what to say, it probably isn't right--the opposite person should like you and not your friends. Also, stop analyzing every little thing (easier said than done...I know)--It's so hard to tell the person's tone of voice over text, so try to see if you can converse with the person face-to-face because it may be a sign not to continue the relationship further. And then still try to stop analyzing everything done by the opposite person, especially since you aren't even in anything more serious than a Saturday night 8-10 drinks deep. (Maybe the time to analyze is after being in the relationship with the person and all of a sudden things aren't going the way they once used to.) Doing so will decrease a lot of stress that new relationships and situations bring upon everyone. I mean with a laid back SoCal attitude everything can happen to you and you won't even get phased--the 20s are a young age when you should start freaking out about small things in life...first and foremost be happy and know what happy means to you: friends, family, relaxing. This is a good age to be stress free and to do the best you can at everything you're doing. Once your least expecting it, things will occur and you will meet someone who seems right (for the time being, until it doesn't end right, and you then go back to what makes you happy, and the cycle reaches full circle).
Happy holidays, and have a safe and relaxing SoCal kind of new year!
P.S. If you girls think you do everything right, please think again, and check out this link: Top 50 Mistakes Women Make While Having Sex
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